Published April 19, 2013
Emily Gage

Tuesday, 3:34p.m.

Just because I’m nice doesn’t mean I’m attracted to you. Manners, you betray me.

Tuesday, 6:01 p.m.

Just passed two guys talking in the engineering building:”I think you’re underestimating your insertion options.” “That’s what she said.”

Thursday, 5:43p.m.

Just walked by a professor in his office watching Snow White. Can I work here?

Thursday, 5:53 p.m.

The back of the Distorter just inspired my roommate to buy a horse mask. I don’t get it either.

Friday, 12:57 p.m.

As a freshman, I used to judge anyone who would sleep in public. Now, as a third year, I’m bumming it on a campus couch at least once a week.

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